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Saturday, 15 July 2017

Dating and Disability

Hi peeps!!

How are you doing? I hope you're all keeping well and that life is treating you with love and kindness. 
As I've been watching ITV2's Love Island and have continually be surrounded by couples whether it's friends, family or even celebrities, it's really made me think about dating. 
Everyone makes it seem so easy and I know it's not, but that's how it looks to me. I'm thirty-two and it's been way too long (much longer than I dare to admit here!) since I dated anyone. I feel it's definitely gotten harder for me. In the last four or five years, my health has deteriorated which means I no longer go out on nights out, I don't go to any clubs and there's rarely a chance for me to meet anyone. Although when I used to go out night-clubbing; meeting someone who was heavily intoxicated, really didn't do any favours and it wasn't my preferred way of meeting someone. A few friends have suggested trying out dating apps/sites but I'm too wary of meeting someone dodgy as some people aren't always who they say they are, however there are some success stories from people meeting on these apps. 
Another thing that makes it hard for me is my social awkwardness and social anxiety that I struggle with. Whenever I meet someone for the first time, it's always easier when it's a one-to-one basis type of situation in general which I think most people who know me well enough will be aware of. I also struggle with self confidence when around the opposite sex especially when you see all those stunning girls on shows like Love Island, Ex On The Beach and even celebrities. They make me feel inadequate, knowing I could never look like any of them in any way because of how I look. For example; I'm dinky, very slim and have severe form of kyphoscoliosis. I know I am unique and I'm starting to accept my body but when it comes to dating, this holds me back. Every girl wants to feel attractive so I know I'm no different. I have the same feelings, desires and wants as any other woman my age. However; I do know that if someone doesn't like me and that is fine, it is their lost. I'm just like any other woman with insecurities so I can say that I don't feel I am putting myself down, this is just me talking about how I feel and how many others may think similar. I'm talking in general towards dating. 
Another thing that I feel can be a barrier is having a disability. Questions often pop up in my mind like; can they see past the disability? Do they see me as a responsibility? Will they understand my disability enough to see past it but also care enough to be supportive in a sense? I'm not sure I'm explaining myself clearly but if you can understand, then that's good. I believe that personality is just as important (if not, more) as physical connection and I would like to think I have a great personality; I'm caring, honest, empathetic, loyal and quite self-aware.
Okay, this post is seemingly becoming a personal dating application which isn't my intention so I will divert back to where I went off track. On Love Island, they pair each couple up and get them to compete in tasks and challenges together which I think is a great way to get to know someone. It lightens the mood and shows a slightly different side to somebody which you may not necessarily see on a normal, typical date.
What are your thoughts on dating, did you find it easy, how did you meet your other half if you are in a relationship and do you have any advice for anyone who is actively looking for a special someone... I would love to hear your stories?!
Anyway that is enough from me in this post and I shall see you in my next post. Thank you for taking the time to read what I've written and I hope it has been an enjoyable read for you. Keep smiling no matter what is thrown at you in life as your smile may just brighten up someone's day. xxx   

4 comments:

  1. Dating isn't easy, I hated it, I don't know if I could bring myself to do it if I ever became single again and you're right, a club isn't a great place to meet the right guy, I think you should give dating sites a try, you don't have to meet for a long time and if they're the right one they will be patient, build up a connection online and go from there, I hope you find someone, we all feel the same way seeing people on love island with their perfection, I can't watch it, I feel rubbish enough lol, good luck lovely xxx

    Gemma M

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement Gemma :) do you think it's gotten harder over the years with today's technology etc? Thank you. With Love Island, I try to not let myself focus on self negativity although it's not easy and focus on what I do enjoy about it. :) thank you :) xxx

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  2. Hi Katie, congratulations on the great blog post. I agree with Gemma, tv shows with lots of beautiful (false) people make me feel bad about myself. It's total fantasy. I don't watch that stuff and I know I feel better for it. And, most of my friends who are in a couple have found their partner through dating sites. (And I have too!) It's extremely difficult to wear your heart on your sleeve and still keep it safe, though. 😁❤

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    1. Hi Cheri, thank you. You're right, it is fantasy, those tv shows. I do try to focus on what I do enjoy on them rather than let the self negativity get to me although it's easier said than done. Ah and look at you now, all married, you and Gary make a lovely couple. :) it is difficult, I agree. 😊❤️

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