Knowing Oneself's Worth

Hey peeps!

I really need to be more consistent with my blogging and I truly wish I was. The main reason why I am not is because I struggle with fatigue. It's something that I'm coming to terms with but I know with my terrible sleeping pattern; this doesn't help matters!

Right now, I'll give you a brief summary of what I've been up to since my last post. There's been birthdays (including my own), appointments, catching up with friends and spending quality time with my family... can you believe my niece is now six months old (today)?

On personal matters, I have been trying to understand myself that bit more. Ever since I went to senior school, I have been plagued with having a lack of confidence and self esteem, and I want to change that. I know my self worth. I think anyone can understand when I say that some of it is in our own heads. We may experience difficult times that leave an after-affect on us; for example I always felt like I was awkward and didn't really know where I fitted in with my peers in my school year. Don't get me wrong, I had friends but not many close ones (not in my year anyway). Ever since then, these motions continued to shadow over me. 

It's only in the last year or so that I have been challenging myself. I know what my abilities are, what I like/don't like and now I know my place in this big, crazy world. Okay, I know that I will always struggle with socialising in big groups, speaking out in public (which I have twice; once at my birthday party last year and at my short film screening event earlier this year) and being completely comfortable in being assertive. 

Something that I've been thinking about is things that I'd like to do. Obviously a lot of what I would like to do depends on whether I have someone to assist me. When I was at school, I used to go horse riding and I'm looking for other EDS peeps for advice. I didn't have hip problems when I was younger and I don't want to risk making it worse. Plus I'm a little scared as it's been so long, ha ha! One thing I do miss and desperately looking for inspiration to do so is my creative writing; I often used to write poetry. There's no physical reason why I can't so hopefully whenever I feel inspired, I'll do some writing. I'm not going to list all the things I want to do as that's for me to work on. 

I think it's so important to fulfill ones wishes and desires. You can't build your self esteem and confidence if you don't try things at least once. How can we improve ourselves if we don't do things that might make us happy. For me as an example, I felt like I was struggling, didn't even have any enthusiasm and felt lonely; still sad at times over my late support worker but I know in my heart that she would want me to enjoy my life the best I can where it's possible. I already have enough difficulties in my life without me making me feel worse. 

The last thing I would like to say is to just take life one step at a time and think about what you want. Think thoroughly first. Capture all the good times and learn from the hard times. 

"Say yes to new adventures"

"Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now."

"It takes a level of self love, of dedication and determination to live your greatest life. So, look within. Look at every area of your life and ask yourself these questions: Am I on course? Am I growing mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Anything that is blocking that is preventing you from living your greatest life, make the tough decision to let it go." 

Until next time... xxx


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Child Prodigy

Image
It was just the other day when I came across a documentary by Keith Allen filming James Harries who is now known as Lauren Harries. Does the name ring a bell to you? He was the 80s/90s child prodigy who claimed to know about Antiques. He had thick, curly blonde hair and always wore a dicky bow tie. I'll post a picture of him as a young boy, I'm sure you'll remember him when you see him. Back to the documentary. James is now Lauren after a sex reassignment operation. I actually think she still seems confused and delirious. In fact the whole family are living in a world of fantasy, delirious, disfunctional and delusion. All the way through I kept an open mind, in a way, I kind of felt sorry for them. All those years ago, Mark and Kate must have been really desperate to push their youngest son into the limelight forging a claim that he could do antiquing at such a tender age. I thought it was good that Lauren had counselling during the treatment but when i
Read more

Children with Gadgets

Hello everyone, I've been thinking back to a few weeks back when I was having a conversation with somebody. The topic was about kids having technical gadgets like games consoles, kindles, iPads and so on.  Going back to when I was a child, we didn't have all of these. Yes we had an Atari but that was for the whole family and I was in my teens by the time we got it. I had actual children's toys like Lego, Sindy dolls, and other toys. For the days that it rained or was too cold, I'd spend hours playing with these toys and I enjoyed arts. I'd do painting, making things and writing stories.  I liked to play out on the street with the other kids on the street. There were skipping ropes, pogo sticks and that ball with the rope toy etc. It was so much fun and meant we  learnt how to be creative, socialising and getting the exercise needed.  Another thing that kinda annoys me is when parents give their little kids kindles and iPads or even putting a DVD on fo
Read more

Dating and Disability

Hi peeps!! How are you doing? I hope you're all keeping well and that life is treating you with love and kindness.  As I've been watching ITV2's Love Island and have continually be surrounded by couples whether it's friends, family or even celebrities, it's really made me think about dating.  Everyone makes it seem so easy and I know it's not, but that's how it looks to me. I'm thirty-two and it's been way too long (much longer than I dare to admit here!) since I dated anyone. I feel it's definitely gotten harder for me. In the last four or five years, my health has deteriorated which means I no longer go out on nights out, I don't go to any clubs and there's rarely a chance for me to meet anyone. Although when I used to go out night-clubbing; meeting someone who was heavily intoxicated, really didn't do any favours and it wasn't my preferred way of meeting someone. A few friends have suggested trying out dating apps/site
Read more