Explaining Myself

Hello my DinkyDos,

As I type this blog post, I'm feeling a little bit fed up and thought it might help me to understand why I'm feeling like I am. I'll try not to be too 'down in the dumps' ha ha, I promise!! I used to write poetry for whenever I felt like this but now I'm going to write about it here to you; my reader. 

This week has had its highs and some okay-ish times. The highs when I've been having fun with my friend whether it was us at mine or out in town yesterday, retail therapy. Picking up my tshirts for my customers yesterday, always make me feel happy and proud. So far, two of my friends have shown interest in sharing my EDS story and the short documentary film I've been working on; one who's in America and the other down south. Fingers crossed that he'll be able to get his colleagues into sharing it on their radio station. 
The lows so far have been that I've had to go to have some blood test which has left my arm sore and bruised, it still hurts a little bit now 😕 The nurse couldn't manage to get any blood so had to go look for a smaller needle and she finally got some. She did put the strap thingy very tight, tighter than I've had it before. I have to wait to see how the inflammation levels are from it. 
Tonight I was supposed to be going to the Signal Films to watch that Amy film but as my chair won't fit in a lot of cars, it's easier to walk to places but as its been cold, wet and windy, we decided to leave it. We're going to plan a movie night one night to watch the film instead. ☺️
Another thing that I have been getting a bit thingy with is seeing all the talk about the upcoming Backstreet Boys cruise. It's all exciting as they have different themes for each night on the cruise and they all look fun. I would love to be able to take part in something like this but it's really difficult for me. As I have severe anxiety and health issues, I know I would probably struggle with the pace of it, the amount of travelling, and it being so hectic. Also I would need to take someone with me to help me and that will mean me paying towards their costs as well as my own. If it is too hot, it affects me physically and it will take the fun out of it for me. I'm not usually so negative but these are the reasons why I will probably never get to go on one of those cruises. When you have to rely on needing someone to come with you to help you with daily tasks and support for the anxiety issues, it does get me down as it makes it harder to be able to do the things that most people take for granted. It is hard though as I so desperately want to go on it and meet lots of my friends that I know online. The Backstreet Boys have done so much for me whether it's giving me things to look forward to and that keep me going during the days where I'm in a lot of pain, fatigue, various medical appointments. I've made lots of new friends who have been there for me, especially late at night when my fellow Brit friends are in bed so they help when I'm unable to get out anywhere. Individually, the boys have inspired me that no matter how low you feel for whatever reason, that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Plus I enjoy each of their ventures. Rochelle; Alex's wife has been so supportive and encouraging to me. So this is why I love them and would absolutely love to go on an event like this so they can see and feel my love/gratitude for them. It really is like a big family, where there's so many people from around the world and I finally feel like I fit in. I even got recognised in Belgium by a fellow fan whom I am friends with now 😊 I have always felt like an outsider and following my own path so this is also lovely for me. Don't worry, I have been so lucky in already have met the boys. Maybe the band could have an event similar but on-land in Europe one day soon ?? I can hope! 😜 The themes this time are: A NIGHT AT THE CINEMA, CASINO ROYALE NIGHT AND IN A WORLD LIKE THIS. Maybe I should have my own cruise style party at home during the whole weekend?? Ha ha!! 🛳
Tomorrow/today I'm looking forward to seeing my sister and her bump. My parents are going to be putting up the furniture in the baby's nursery and I'll sit watching the telly. I'll also rest my foot too as it is still bothering me a little bit. I'm getting slightly impatient now because I can't wait for my niece to be born and hold her in my arms. It isn't too much longer to wait now. 
Anyway, I feel a bit better now I've got it all of my chest. Thank you for reading this and love to all ❤️ xxx

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