Am I Undateable?!


Sunday, 26 August 2012


Undateable?!

Looking on Facebook, at a page that I ‘Like’ has raised an issue which I hold closely to my heart. The Ehlers-Danlos Support UK had been approached by a production company that is currently in the making its second series of ‘Undateables’. Now Scope is promoting this show as well. 
I personally have mix views on the term ‘undateable’ in reference to disabled people on the dating scene. People are trying to steer people away from labelling the disabled from such terminology not reinforcing it. If someone called me as it, I would certainly be upset as I feel it is making me look like a freak. I thought charities were supposed to promote disability in a positive light and not taking us backwards in how people approach disability?!?
I am all for raising awareness for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome but just not this way; this is a negative way to do so. Why can’t there be a more positive way, there is a start with Cherylee (as you are aware from a previous blog post of mine) but it isn’t enough. One idea I have is to create a documentary of various EDS sufferers as in a diary form for a certain period of time to give people (viewers) an insight into what it is like to live with and how we all cope with it. There are many different types of EDS so it would be interesting and educational to be aware of all the different symptoms. This is only brief explanation of my idea. What do you think?
Anyway back to the focus of this blog post, it was a long time ago since I was last dating someone (daren’t say how many years, lol!) so I’m a little out of my depth in the dating scene. Back then, my EDS wasn’t affecting me as much as it is now I am older – probably the only way I can think of to describe the difference. I was not aware of how much the EDS affect the people around me. Perhaps I was just young and naive with being young and carefree. 
Sometimes just doing the simplest tasks, I have to ask for help, which I know most people don’t mind helping, but it makes me wonder how that would affect my future relationships, how would a potential partner strike the balance between being the boyfriend/partner and the carer? Do people really see beyond the disability they see or know of? If I met someone, would they take me seriously or just see me as many have so far, just a friend? These are just thoughts that circle round in my head. 
Like many ‘able-bodied’ people, I enjoy socialising, having fun and trying to do things like others my age do. Sharing interests and hobbies with people is something I definitely don’t have any problems with. Maybe it doesn’t help the fact that I am quite shy and anxious around meeting new people in this particular scenario. 
So yeah that kind of explains my reasons for having mix feelings about the subject and that sort of brings me round to the dreaded question... because I have a disability, does that make me 'undateable'??

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